BTIG's Bitcoin "Prediction": More Like a Bad Joke
BTIG's Bold Call: Delusion or Deep Insight?
Okay, so BTIG – whoever *they* are – are saying Bitcoin's gonna rally back to $100,000. Right. Just like my uncle Tony's gonna finally pay me back that "small loan" he took out in '08. After a "peak-to-trough decline" of 36%, they think it's "poised" for a comeback. Poised? Last time I checked, Bitcoin was about as poised as a toddler with a loaded diaper. According to a
Bitcoin set to rally back to $100,000, BTIG says report, BTIG is standing by its prediction.
Bitcoin at $92,680, they say? Up 2% in the last 24 hours? Big whoop. Let's be real, that's like finding a twenty in your old jeans and declaring yourself a financial genius. It's still nearly 27% below its all-time high from October. October! That was like, what, a geological age ago in crypto time?
And of course, Ethereum's gonna magically climb back to $3,400. Sure, Jan.
Crypto "Pullback"? More Like a Clown Show.
Mining Stocks: Don't Get Your Hopes Up
Oh, and get this: Cipher Mining and Terawulf are "showing impressive performance" during the "crypto pullback." Impressive? These stocks are rollercoasters. Up one day, down the next. Investing in them is basically gambling with extra steps.
They're saying investors are rotating from "risk-on exposures" into "risk-off assets" because they're worried about AI valuations. Okay, boomer. It's not just AI. Everything's overvalued. We're living in a clown world where meme stocks can make you a millionaire and crypto promises to "revolutionize finance" while mostly revolutionizing scams.
Speaking of which, what *is* shaping crypto positioning, really? Is it "mixed U.S. economic data?" Give me a break. It's whales manipulating the market and retail investors chasing pipe dreams. The "recurring four-year cycle tied to its scheduled programmatic supply reductions" that BTIG mentioned? Yeah, right. That's just a convenient excuse for the volatility. It's like saying the tides are caused by mermaids.
I'm not even gonna touch the Black Friday sales figures. Thirty-six billion dollars in online sales? Of course Amazon's gonna benefit. They always do. The system is rigged.
The Inevitable Cookie Monster
Wait, I got distracted and started thinking about cookies.
This just in: Versant Media LLC wants to tell you about their cookies. I mean, their *cookie notice*. Like I care. "This Notice explains how Versant Media LLC and its affiliates...use cookies and similar tracking technologies..." Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're tracking everything we do, selling our data to the highest bidder, and pretending it's for our own good.
"Strictly Necessary Cookies?" Those are the ones that let them spy on you effectively. "Measurement and Analytics Cookies?" Those are the ones that let them figure out how to squeeze every last drop of data out of your online presence. "Ad Selection and Delivery Cookies?" The ones that ensure you're bombarded with targeted ads for stuff you don't need.
And if you turn them off, "you won’t have access to many features that make your guest experience more efficient, and some of our Services will not function properly." What a load of horseshit.
I'm not even gonna bother with "How Do I Manage Cookies?" We all know the answer: you can't. They're like digital cockroaches. Impossible to get rid of.
So, What's the Real Story?
Look, I'm not saying Bitcoin is going to zero. Maybe it *will* hit $100,000. But I'm not holding my breath. This whole thing feels like a giant pump-and-dump scheme, and offcourse I'm the sucker sitting here wondering if I should buy more. It's all hype and hopium. And honestly, I'm tired of it.
